home poem I’ve Pulled

I’ve Pulled

People used to like this one and I did it honestly for the last time at my wedding.

Little story
of the forward girl beauty
Who cam to bed with me

‘Bloody hell’ I replied
How far down the list was I
Actually don’t answer that.
‘Taxi Taxi TAXI!’

We enter the cab
She whispers kisses in my ear
Fragrance of hair runs down to the nerve in my right leg.

‘Driver Driver’
‘Cant you go any faster?’

We step out the cab
pass over a sweaty tenner
see the curtains of neighbouring windows
shuddering from side to side,

‘Hey neighbour,
this is my lover
She is gonna go to bed with me,
don’t tell my mother’.

‘Hey neighbour,
this is my lover
She is gonna go to bed with me,
don’t tell my father.’

We Enter
sleep together
She wakes up
Cant remember
I ask for her number
she says never
then she scarpers
Im naked
ive lost the gift of my Creator
Vomit Vomit I Puke……

But then its ok
as i have discovered the truth
the truth that it was just a dream
it was a dream

And still yes,
Ima virgin
I’m a sexy dick in tact virgin.
I’m a sexy virgin
I LOVE VIRGINITY!

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